i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I stole a fireplace last night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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