Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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