I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
