I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
