I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
