I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
