I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
