susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
