some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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