kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
