...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
