Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize