i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
