remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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