So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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