Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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