He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
