highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
