his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
