Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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