at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize