p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
