once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
