Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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