So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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