Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
