I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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