I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
