Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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