Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
