shes about as inviting as chlamydia
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
