I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
