Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
