I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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