gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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