Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
