Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
