remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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