I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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