no, he came in my armpit
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
