I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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