I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
