I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
