Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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