the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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