it hurts more in the daytime
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
