Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize