I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
