wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
