he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
