its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
