My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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