something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The struggles of a small town man whore
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
