Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
