Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize