friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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