He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i dont even know how to be here
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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