Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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