Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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