I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
