Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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