I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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